Sex Therapy
Tender Grounding for Intimate Becoming
Sex therapy at Velvet & Vine is not just about sex. It’s about being seen. It’s about tenderness where there once was tension, and choice where there once was shame. In a world that often pathologizes queer, trans, neurodivergent, and non-normative bodies and desires, we create a space where intimacy becomes possibility, not pressure.
Here, your body is not a problem to fix. It is a story, a threshold, and a home you can return to. Whether you are healing from trauma, exploring your desire, navigating kink or polyamory, or simply longing to feel more connected to yourself and others—sex therapy can help.
What Is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps individuals, couples, and relationship constellations explore challenges and curiosities related to sex, pleasure, and intimacy. Unlike common myths, it’s not just for people in crisis or those with “sexual dysfunction.” It’s for anyone wanting to feel safer, freer, and more connected within themselves and in relationships.
At Velvet & Vine, sex therapy includes:
Processing sexual trauma, abuse, or coercion
Addressing pain, dissociation, or fear during intimacy
Exploring asexuality, aromanticism, or low desire with respect—not pathologization
Navigating gender identity, dysphoria, or body image in the context of sex
Unpacking internalized shame from religious or cultural trauma
Learning to communicate boundaries, wants, and needs
Celebrating kink, BDSM, and ethical non-monogamy with care and consent
Learn more about our Trauma Recovery Servicces. You can also read our blog post: Sex & Intimacy After Trauma.
Sex-Positive Therapy for Queer and Trans Clients
At Velvet & Vine, sex-positivity means more than openness—it means liberation. For queer and trans folks, sex-positivity must be filtered through the lenses of safety, choice, and survival. Many of us were taught to feel shame about desire, to shrink in the face of our own pleasure, or to disassociate from our bodies altogether.
In this space, we:
Center desire on your terms—whether it’s expansive, quiet, fluid, or undefined
Affirm ace, gray, and low-desire orientations as valid, beautiful experiences
Explore embodiment through curiosity, not performance
Reconnect you to intimacy that feels nurturing, not obligatory
Sex-positivity doesn’t mean wanting more sex. It means having more agency, honesty, and permission.
We don’t just affirm your identity—we create space for it to be celebrated.
See our related page on Queer Healing. We also recommend Scarleteen for inclusive sex ed for queer and trans people.
Kink-Affirming Therapy and BDSM Support
Kink is not a deviation. It is a valid way of expressing trust, connection, autonomy, and embodiment. At Velvet & Vine, we are kink-affirming, consent-driven, and deeply respectful of your dynamic whether you’re exploring or experienced.
We work with:
People navigating power exchange, DS dynamics, primal play, or role-based intimacy
Clients processing stigma, shame, or religious trauma around kink
Survivors healing from non-consensual experiences within kink spaces
Partners wanting to build clearer communication, boundaries, and aftercare
In kink-aware therapy, your identity as a top, bottom, switch, or sadist is not pathologized. It is understood as meaningful and worthy of care.
We may use scripts, scene debriefs, or collaborative ritual-building as therapeutic tools when desired. We also support clients who practice edge play, lifestyle submission, and 24/7 dynamics.
For unpacking gender, power, and autonomy, see our page on Feminist Therapy. Read our Shame-Free Guide to Exploring Kink, or explore the articles at the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
Queer-Liberatory Therapy Rooted in Pleasure and Power
Pleasure is political. So is the right to name your boundaries, reclaim your body, and define your desire without apology. At Velvet & Vine, we practice queer-liberatory therapy because we know healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in context.
We support:
Unpacking how racism, fatphobia, ableism, and cissexism shape intimacy
Healing religious and cultural trauma without erasing community
Honoring chosen family and collective care in your sexual healing
Naming oppression without centering pathology
Queer-liberatory therapy makes room for the wild, the soft, the deviant, and the sacred. You don’t have to earn your right to thrive.
We often incorporate values-based work, archetypes, storytelling, and cultural naming into sex therapy sessions. Explore Relational Cultural Therapy for relationship and community-rooted healing.
Sex Therapy and Neurodivergence
Neurodivergent folks—including those with ADHD, autism, OCD, Tourette’s, and sensory processing differences—often experience intimacy differently. Your body might not follow “standard” cues. Your brain might need structure, patterns, or permission for play.
We affirm:
Stimming, special interests, and movement as forms of erotic expression
The need for direct language, structure, and pacing around touch or transitions
Support for sensory-friendly environments, sexual scripting, or visual aids
Recognition that masking and shutdown are survival, not failure
Many neurodivergent clients struggle with feeling “too much” or “not enough.” Here, we reframe that. You are just right.
Whether you need accommodations, curiosity, or simply fewer assumptions, we co-create sessions that actually work for your nervous system.
Our neurodivergent clients also benefit from exploring mindfulness and somatic approaches to care.
How Trauma, PTSD, and C-PTSD Affect Intimacy
Trauma lives in the body—and often resurfaces most intensely in moments of connection. Many survivors of sexual trauma, abuse, or neglect experience:
Disconnection or numbness during sex
Panic, freeze, or fawn responses
Confusion between arousal and fear
Feeling triggered, “gone,” or ashamed after intimacy
Shame around preferences, fantasies, or needs
We approach these experiences slowly, with consent, spaciousness, and deep respect. Sex therapy may include:
Polyvagal work to map safety
Naming what feels safe, unsafe, or new
Reclaiming rituals of self-touch, breath, or visualizations
Deconstructing purity culture or trauma-based beliefs
There is no rush. No agenda. Just a body relearning it is allowed to stay.
Sex and Intimacy After Transition or Body Change
Our bodies are not fixed. They shift. They scar. They become. And sometimes they leave us feeling estranged, exposed, or even reborn.
We support clients navigating:
Top surgery or other gender-affirming medical care
Hormonal changes, fertility shifts, or dysphoria
Weight changes, disability, or chronic illness
Postpartum, hysterectomy, or mastectomy recovery
Joy, grief, or numbness after transformation
Sex therapy can help you:
Develop new erotic maps and body-based trust
Understand shifting pleasure zones or needs
Communicate with partners about change
Reclaim intimacy with self after medical or social transition
We honor scars, binders, wheelchairs, walkers, pumps, stretch marks, sensory tools, and all the ways you move through the world.
What Happens in Sex Therapy Sessions?
Sessions are talk-based, collaborative, and custom-built. You may experience:
Reflection and storytelling
Values or identity exploration
Body-based noticing (only if safe)
Grounding techniques and resourcing
Communication scripting or scene debriefs
There is never pressure to talk about anything you’re not ready for. There is never pressure to change.
Learn more about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
FAQs
Do I have to be in a relationship to access sex therapy?
Nope! Many clients come solo. Explore our individual therapy services!
What if I don’t want to talk about sex yet?
That’s okay. You get to set the pace. We can start anywhere.
I’m asexual or low-desire. Does this still apply?
Absolutely. This is your space. Your story matters.
What if I’m kinky, poly, or into BDSM?
All consensual relationships and desires are respected here.
I’m neurodivergent. Can sessions be structured or sensory-aware?
Yes. We can use visual tools, scripts, or accommodations that support your needs.
Will I have to do somatic work or body exercises?
Only if you want to. Consent is everything. We’ll build the process together.